How to Fix a Dislocated Shoulder
Last week on a Wednesday, well into my daily morning ritual of hitting the snooze button and lounging a bit more in bed, I finally decide to get up and start my day. But not until after sneaking in one final morning stretch to get the sleep kinks out of my body. I reach up and out and.. out pops my shoulder from the socket! Wow, I’m out of shape. The sucker just slips out over the cartilage and there I am, trapped in bed with my arm hanging out of the socket. Hmmm… what a conundrum.
The next 40 minutes are spent weighing out my options:
1. Do I force myself up and call 911? I can’t call 911, the house is too messy.
2. How about if I just lay here all day until Basil comes home? Tempting. But embarrassing. And I need to call work.
After about 45 minutes, I manage to get out of bed and walk over to my phone. The first person I call is David Dennis to make sure all is well with the on-demands for the big webcast that took place the day before. I know, sick.
I call my aunt Michelle who drives over but can’t come in because by then my body is in shock and I’m hunched over at the desk with sweat pouring from my face and nausea has set in. Hmm.. am I going to die?
By the time Basil gets home, I’m still very much alive and resting semi-comfortably with my limp arm chilling against the side of the chair. He’s walking in while reaching out, ready to yank on the arm and set it into place as I’m pleading, “Please no, no no no no.. please no..” HAAAAAAAA.. let’s just let the doctor take care of it, got that?
How to Fix a Dislocated Shoulder
Not caring that I’m still in my pajamas, I stumble to the car and settle in. As we start entering the circular on-ramp to Highway 85, I feel this horrible pressure on my shoulder and start to whimper. “Ooh, ow. Owwwwwww.. ow ow.. dang it. ow.” It hurt. And leaning in the opposite direction doesn’t lessen the pressure one bit. As the car straightens out, I feel a faint *pop.* Hmm. I think my shoulder is in. Yes sir, it’s in. After 2 hours, this is how my shoulder is fixed? Turns out that driving clock-wise in a tight circle is the answer.
My get-well gift from Basil:
Workout bands!
Up-side to all this? A little nudge to start working out again – need to start putting my $20/year gym membership to use.
Hahahahahahahahahaaaaa!!!! I don’t even know where to begin with this. You’re like… like…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJ47740o0aI
(start looking around 0:57)
And then you’re not.
Oh my! What a freakish nightmare with a comic ending! : )
Did you ever dislocate your shoulder before? How does this happen to anyone???
This has been my 4th or 5th time dislocating it – usually it swings out and then conveniently back in. Once you dislocate your shoulder, it’s just a bit more loose than normal!
next week we take it up a notch on the shoulder exercises. also, we need to figure out how to get family members (i.e. myself) on your membership, $20/year, you don’t even have to go once and it’s worth it.
by the way, there’s gotta be a function where husbands don’t get moderated on this thing.
Dear Sueann, it happened 4-5 times?
Where was I when all this happened!!
Now you need to get professional consultation for not ever happen again. I do not want to think about if this happens again when you have a baby, and your baby is alone with his/her mom’s shoulder dangling with sweat from pains.
DO something about it before it happens again!
I remembered you mentioned that it happened when you were in NY.
I am regretting greatly now not take up that incident further and take you to a specialist. But what good is it!
Please do this for your family if not for yourself!!
from chickennuggettoe:
(hahahaha!! I almost didn’t post this but upon reading it again, it’s so funny!! love you mom….)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! oh sueann! poor thing but that’s so funny! i need to get me some of those workout bands…
For insight, go to:
http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/library/dislocated-shoulder/DS00597.html
I especially liked the, ‘Prevention’ tab. You read it and go, “DUH!”
Leave your response!
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